Aug 292012

In my experience, there are men who truly find women fascinating, and value us for our thoughts, contributions, efforts and personality. On the other hand, there are men who see us as inferior, simply because we’re women. They, sometimes without intention, treat us like children, or like a paper doll, trophy or just generally feeble, fragile and worst of all – stupid.
So here is a list I’m working on (much of it relating to dating, and interactions from online dating sites) to help you spot the signs of a chauvinist. Below, I’ll explain how to get any intelligent man to knock that shit off.

 1 Any man who feels free to call an adult woman he doesn’t know very well “sweetheart” or “darlin” or “little lady” or some other pet moniker, is taking liberties he shouldn’t. It tells you right away that he is comfortable with regarding you as intimately familiar, and in the diminutive without your permission. It is an act of trespassing.
 2 A man who claims he knows “how to treat a lady”. This is found in many profiles of online singles sites. What he means is he knows how to be macho around a woman who behaves in strict accordance with what he defines as a lady. Not coincidentally, this is the same type of man who will write me an email saying that “you are clearly a woman who knows what she wants”, and then punctuate their point with a back-handed compliment like, “you should be careful, you’ll scare men away that way”.  But, not him, of course, because he’s secure enough to handle a woman with “a mind of her own.”   This is good comedy -  a man telling me it’s ok if i have a mind of my own. HA HA HA HA.
 3 He says “no drama”. Or worse, a man who says “no crying” or that crying scares him.  No drama usually means, he doesn’t want to hear any complaints about anything. While i think many women and men can be entirely too particular about how others should bow down to them, i’m not speaking of them. I’m speaking about reasonable, balanced, intelligent women who tell a man that they don’t like this or that, or would prefer this or that thing. A woman who wants something, communicates it clearly and then expresses disappointment when her needs aren’t met isn’t causing “drama”. Many things in life that are under the heading of  “drama” are good. Life isn’t a constant comedy, like a sit-com, frat party or juvenile “road-trip/hangover/super troopers” type movie.
 4 A man who wants a woman who “takes care of herself”, but bitches about women who are “high maintenance”. This is more under the heading of hypocrite, but still in the chauvinist realm, because the desire to be with a woman who takes care of herself, generally precludes all other needs that he might have – meaning, he wants a trophy girlfriend and nothing more. Fuck that.
 5 A man who finds your opinion “cute” and then tells you why you’re wrong. Sometimes he may even ask you a question designed to trap you in to giving a narrow/quick answer so that he can then dispute it, all for the purpose of showcasing his education and intelligence, while trampling yours. This manner of making a woman feel stupid in order to flaunt intellect is a sure sign of a MCP.  Even IF he tries to excuse it as the “Socratic Method”. A trap is a trap, you prick.
 6 The Pretense of helplessness.  He can’t do the laundry because he “screws it up”. It’s a manipulation, and is not only lazy, but a way of putting his wife/gf in the role of house wife, maid and slave. After all, that’s where a woman belongs, right? And, on the topic of stupid men…
 7 Chauvinism in the entertainment industry. Think of how man TV shows that depict a fat and/or stupid, and/or rude tub of shit married to a thin, thinking, balanced, beautiful woman. This tells us we must be beautiful, fit, and thoughtful and keep a household running, so the dumb, fat, balding man can burp and fart and get fatter and go to bars with his friends, and leave us home to clean, etc.  Notably: Family Guy, The Simpsons, Ev Loves Raymond, The King of Queens,
 8 He calls you “a feisty one”. Really? Did you mean feisty like a puppy before you train it, or a horse before you break it? The phrase implies small, and since it’s in direct reference to your behaviour, it’s about your mind. He’s already put your mentality in a “smaller than” or “less than” position in his mind. When did he decide that you were feisty? After you expressed an opinion or explained how you would/did handle a particular situation?  He could have said, fierce, exacting, precise, decisive, gutsy, educated, opinionated, courageous, enthusiastic, fervent, zealous, passionate, dynamic, intense, influential, persuasive…. just to name a muther fucking few. Any of those I would take over feisty.
 9 And a 2nd nod, or more accurately, an over the rim of my glasses glare at the entertainment industry in 2015. Current TV shows depict out of work, stay at home moms (who are smarter than the dads), or women struggling for money while their male counterparts are wealthy and successful.  How I Met Your Mother. Modern Family. Two & A Half Men. Big Bang Theory. Also – one of my fave shows, used to depict the women only in ‘caretaker’ roles, was Star Trek TNG, but they cleaned that shit up after season 5, and in all the subsequent movies.  We can also go in to the vault for shows like I love Lucy and I Married Joan where men were constantly teaching their wives a lesson. OY!  Where’s our modern day Murphy Brown, or Julia Sugarbaker, hell even give me Maude!!  Ally McBeal was baffled by relationships, but she sure as hell supported herself nicely.  As of 2015, the unemployment rate is higher for men then women. But, the writers in hollywood are mostly male – so that explains that.
There are more… join the conversation and help me identify the signs of  MCP’s.


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